Dream Big – Praveen's Blog

The Power of Learning: Lessons from a Caveman

There was a caveman who lived in a forest all by himself. He was leading a decent life and was content with whatever he had and whatever he could find to eat. Until one day, an explorer came by his cave and showed him a mobile phone. The caveman was initially scared then astonished and then started using it and eventually he started loving it. He watched videos on how he could cut tress efficiently, videos on how he could hunt better and he even learnt the concept of preserving food for the rainy days and finally returned the phone to the explorer as they said their goodbyes.

The caveman started doing the things the way he had learnt from the videos. The days passed and turned into week, the weeks became months and eventually months became years. After around thirty years, the same explorer was going through the same exact forest. Suddenly he heard a yell from the distance, when the explorer looked around he was surprised to see the same caveman running towards him and when they finally met, the caveman started thanking the explorer for saving his life. The explorer confused, asked the caveman how he could have saved the caveman’s life when they did not even meet for thirty years.

The caveman explained, before he met the explorer all he could do was live on a daily basis. He would hunt everyday, eat what he could hunt and sleep with an empty stomach on the days he could not. But after watching the videos thirty years earlier, he started to hunt better, he started to use wood and fire to his advantage, he started to store food better which he could use in rainy days and because of all this, he started to live a healthy life and his lifespan increased. His forefathers had not learnt the skills he learnt and due to harsh weather, hunger and illness their average lifespan was only only around thirty years, whereas he is now forty seven and still strong to live another twenty odd years easily. Had he not watched the videos he could have still learnt them from his experience or experiments however it would have taken years or even generations to learn them.

The story is my imaginary creation but the relevance and the moral of it is real and timeless. This is how we all are, this is how the human kind has progressed. One thing that sets us apart from all the other creatures is our ability to learn and implement those learnings quickly.

In today’s fast paced and ever changing world all of us are busy, busy with our jobs, busy with our scholastic work, busy with our daily chores and somewhere between all these, we have let go our ability to keep learning consciously, some think they have learnt everything there is to learn or worse yet, some think only they know all the right things and everyone else is in some way inferior or less experienced than them.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn is a skill, the willingness to learn is a choice. _{Brian Herbert}

Learning can happen in different forms like reading, reflecting, observing, experiencing, listening, watching and the list can go on but the point is, we have to continuously keep learning no matter who we are, what we do or what stage of our lives we are in and we have to use the best effective means to do it.
If I am someone who spends a lot of time watching videos which don’t serve me in any way, I can start spending at least 10% of that time watching some quality videos on the new skill I always wanted to acquire. If I am someone who is thinking of taking up something which can help me get in good shape and I don’t like the idea of going to the gym everyday, I can enrol in a sport training which I like and still achieve my objective while also acquiring a new skill.

Some things can be learnt only through experiences and this statement while true, has been used by many of us to avoid learning anything at all. We resist learning through books or people. You tell them to pick up a book or a biography or watch a documentary and they say they rather deal with life themselves and learn that way. The truth is, while the statement itself is true and life teaches us a lot of lessons in its on way, the idea to pick up a book or watch a documentary is to learn from the other individual and his mistakes to do the things that must be done and avoid the things to be avoided. Let’s say, I read Steve Jobs’s biography I would not only do a crash course on how to become great in whatever I am trying to build but also I will learn what one must not do to be a good leader. If I listen to a podcast where the guest is Naval Ravikant or Ryan Holiday, I will not only learn the philosophical view of life but also will learn the effective ways to manage time, energy and get better at relationships.

Information is everywhere but its meaning is created by the observer that interprets it. Meaning is relative and there is no objective, over-arching meaning.” _{Naval Ravikant}

A lot of times, it also takes courage to challenge what we have already learnt. In his best selling book “Think Again” Adam Grant writes “We all have blind spots in our knowledge and opinions. The bad news is that they can leave us blind to our blindness, which gives us false confidence in our judgment and prevents us from rethinking. The good news is that with the right kind of confidence, we can learn to see ourselves more clearly and update our views. In driver’s training we were taught to identify our visual blind spots and eliminate them with the help of mirrors and sensors. In life, since our minds don’t come equipped with those tools, we need to learn to recognize our cognitive blind spots and revise our thinking accordingly.”

Finally, let us get back to our caveman (who was patiently waiting until now)

He could have remained scared and could have chosen not to learn new skills but to his credit, he did.
He could have chosen to do the things the way he and his ancestors always did, but he changed and changed for better.
He could have chosen to stick to his outdated learnings, but fortunately he challenged them and got new perspective on the things he had been doing for long.
He could have chosen to die young like all his ancestors, but he chose to live healthier and longer than all of them.

Be Great!
Praveen.

Rediscover Yourself: The Importance of Pursuing What You Love

Throughout our lives, we often design our personalities in a way where we are constantly trying to impress everyone but ourselves. It all starts with our teachers, our coaches, our parents, our siblings, our bosses, our social circle, our neighbours, our relatives, then the people whom we don’t even know, the list can go on.

And in the process we slowly forget who we are and what we are meant to do in our lives. We could be great at singing but we keep our passion aside to impress our calculus teacher, we could be great at Tennis but we keep that aside to impress our parents and study hard to crack that engineering entrance test. We could even be passionate about making documentaries but we keep that aside to end up taking “more safer” jobs to impress the society. The cycle starts from there and in a matter of time we are lifting the weights of our family’s endless responsibilities and forget about what we were passionate about and what made us happy when we were young. Eventually a day comes when we have to leave everything and everyone, staring at our last moments.

The opposing but equally valid view is, most of us are not sure of our passion for the most part of our lives. Most of us take life the way it comes until a particular moment. So, passion is actually a made up phenomenon by the so called self help gurus who usually ask us to “follow our passion”.

In my view, both are partly right and partly wrong.

Let me explain, It is true that most of us do not really know what we could be good at for most part of our lives (except a few, who are really aware of it and are encouraged to pursue it from early days) However, it is important for our own satisfaction and fulfilment, we act on it once we do realise what we really want.

Let’s say, I was raised in a middle class family where all we know is to study really hard, get a decent and steady job , get married, raise family, build a house, have a bit of savings for my retirement and leave all that to my offsprings once it is my time to go. Though this life is ideal, it is not how it ends up being for the most part. Life has it’s own way to deal with every individual. It is not always all rainbow and sunshine and it is definitely not easy. We face heartbreaks, we face layoffs, we face financial emergencies, we face health emergencies, we face sudden loss of loved one’s, the list goes on. And in the midst of all this something else comes up and we really are tested beyond what we can handle and we somehow try to survive them.

Unfortunately, we really cannot avoid any of the challenges we encounter but we still fight them and come out stronger and in the process sometimes, we realise what our potential is and our real passion is. The objective then should be to act on the learnings and our realisation of the passion. If we discover what our true passion is, we must acknowledge and start working towards making that happen.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” _{Ralph Waldo Emerson}

Let’s say I am a car mechanic and usually spend most of my day at the workshop, I love coffee and I am usually told by my friends that I make great coffee. What I can do is, work 9-5 or even longer at my workshop to continue getting a steady income to support my family and on the weekends instead of spending time aimlessly, I set up a shop and sell coffee. This will get me started on the thing I am passionate about and I get to test waters before going all In on the business plan too. During this process, I also have an advantage of working on 2 separate things I am good at which allows me to be flexible with my future aspirations. Over time if I start liking mending cars, I can continue that for rest of my life or even set up my own workshop and become a workshop owner. And in due course, if I start to enjoy making coffee and liking the business prospects of it (probably it is starting to make enough money due to my weekend hustle) I can shift to this as a full time job. Either way, I am setting myself up for success because both will teach me something valuable. One will teach me getting better at fixing cars and the other the business side of things.

If I stick to just mending cars throughout my life I might end up being a disgruntled employee who just comes to clock hours and soon I’ll be staring at my end disheartened with a unfulfilled life. And on the other hand if I go all in on the coffee business idea, I might later come to know it is not enough for me to survive financially and end up getting frustrated and lose interest completely.

“Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.” _{Cal Newport – So Good They Can’t I}_{gnore You}

Now if you haven’t realised your “passion” yet, think of some of your life’s experiences. Go to your memory and try to remember something that you are good at. I can guarantee you that all of us have something that we and only we can do better than most of the people. Is it drawing? coding? good with people? farming? fixing cars? It could be something very small but you know you are good at it. Then make conscious effort to get better, be relentless in your effort and have lot of patience, because building something valuable takes immense patience.

I’ll conclude by saying this, no one’s life is similar to another individual. So, write your own story, own it, make changes to it when required. But most importantly do the things you love (even part time would do, if full time is not feasible)
Some might call it passion, some might call it a weekend activity and some might say it’s just work I am meant to do and will do with all my heart. If you do the things you love even for short intervals, the satisfaction of doing it will have ripple effect in all the other areas of your life positively and suddenly your life would seem (and will be) fulfilled.

Be Great!
Praveen.

Adapting to Life’s Obstacles: How to Thrive with a Positive Mindset

From the beginning of evolution of life on this planet if there was one thing which remained consistent, it was the challenges it brought to the group that was trying to survive and thrive.

If you are someone who believes (or does not) in the Darwinian theory of evolution, you will know how the evolution came about and how human beings ended up here. The mechanism that Darwin proposed for evolution is natural selection “Because resources are limited in nature, organisms with heritable traits that favour survival and reproduction will tend to leave more offspring than their peers, causing the traits to increase in frequency over generations“

Something that was felt by and survived by all the organisms who thrived were the same challenges that their environment and the conditions threw at them. And on the other hand, the one’s which did not survive also had to face the same exact challenges but could not handle them well or overcome them.

The bad news is, we will also face challenges (if not already, which I highly doubt) as our ancestors did, and so would our future generations without any exceptions regardless of we liking it or not. But the good news is, we can overcome it and we have what it takes to adapt, survive and thrive. Let’s find out how!

Challenges can be broadly split into 2 types –
Internal – Mental
External – Physical

While most of the external challenges we face every day, every minute in our lives are external but how we react to them is based on our mental state and how we deal with them. It is that mental state that decides if we will survive, thrive or perish.

With ever increasing challenges in the world, it becomes harder for an individual to get back to his normal state as soon as it is ideal to do so. The connected world keeps throwing things at him to keep him in that negative zone forever, if he does not become aware of where it is leading him and takes charge of the situation.
Take any social media for instance, you constantly are bombarded with all the so called “great” things people are able to achieve and do in their jobs, life, family. And looking at all that you start to feel that you are not “there” yet and start questioning your abilities and life.

The challenge arise when you as an individual are already facing inner turmoil. Human mind has unimaginable potential to imagine whatever it wants to but is limited to its experiences, environment and situation at the time.
For instance, in his famous book “Man’s search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl writes “when someone becomes unemployed, they often suffer from their provisional existence, a deviation from the more well-defined path of an employed individual. This provisional existence can change one’s relationship to time, making days feel longer and filled with less meaning than the busy days of employment”

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” _{Viktor E. Frankl}

**Percentage of adults in select countries worldwide currently experiencing mental health conditions (e.g. depression, anxiety) as of 2022** – Statista

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” _{Marcus Aurelius}

Our mental state is the ultimate decider. External factors such as financial instability, issues in our relationships, uncertainty in our careers, issues with our physical wellbeing or issues with the environment we live in, no matter what the situation is, it is our mental state that determines if those issues break us or we make them the building blocks of our strong characters.

Creating a strong mindset requires lot of practice and usually years of intentional work on it. Just like to maintain peak physical state one has to consistently put in the hard work at the gym.

It is easier said than done though!

And it is not all gloomy!

The good news is, as individuals we can keep trying to be better. We can try to be better professionals, we can try to be better parents, better spouses, better friends or better children and eventually we will be better than where we are currently at in whichever area we wish to get better in, and that’s a surety but…

It will take immense courage, courage to take the responsibility and own the situation we are in.
It will take immense planning, plan to get to where we want to get to.
It will take immense discipline, discipline to follow the plan we made for ourselves.
It will take immense adaptability, adapting to ever changing world and finally
It will take immense patience, patience to continue until you get what you want.

To make sure that this is just not another motivational rant you are reading and give you the the best ROI on your time, let me lay out 3 simple strategies (the ABC’s) to help you get started,
1. Acknowledge – Take a good hard look at yourself and come to terms with who you really are. Be true to yourself and acknowledge. You could be a good person or a monster, You could be a great communicator or a terrible one or you could be a great singer or may be its just a hobby. No matter what you conclude, make sure your are brutally honest with yourself.
2. Believe – Believe in whatever you concluded with in the previous step but also believe that you have taken the first step towards change already and now its going to get easier. Start by going back to your experiences and observe what you are good at, or even decent at. Let’s say you wanted to become a public speaker but are always shy to speak in front of large groups, you also realised that though you are shy, you have spoken in front of a group in the past and have received good or even bad feedback. The point you must focus on is, when you spoke, people listened and that’s why they were able to give you feedback. This should give you enough courage and belief to take up public speaking seriously.
3. Change – Change accordingly! Change your strategy if you have to, change your habits if you have to, change your environment if you have. The objective should be to adapt to the situation and change your response to it. If your objective is to become a good musician and you are already past your 50’s, you still can change your situation and become a good musician. Without changing your mindset or response or habits you will not be able to accomplish your objective. Take it from me in writing!

To sum it all, I will close this blog with C. W. Longenecker’s “The Victor”

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will.
It’s all in the state of mind
If you think you are out classed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of your-self before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Be Great!
Praveen.

The Power of Taking Responsibility and Dreaming Big in Our Careers.

All of us, regardless of our identities and differences desire to achieve more and desire to get to the objective of having our dream job. Some of us, start to think of it seriously at the beginning of our adulthood, some of us start to think of it in the early stages of our careers and some of us little later. But as human beings, we all start to think of that ultimate role or the objective sooner or later which we think will be our life’s purpose.

However, only few of us plan and strategise for it and most of us end up being who we currently are, even by the end of our careers and some times by the end of our lives too. It is also really important to note however, that all of us blame everyone around us or the circumstances or the environment for not being able to achieve what we always wanted to achieve. Whereas the fact is, only we are responsible to what happens to our careers or what we achieve in our individual lives.

When it comes to achieving anything in our lives, it is no secret that we need to have a plan, a strategy which will help and guide us in the right direction.

After carefully thinking (and obviously researching) about that ultimate plan for few months now, I have come up with the four step process which I believe will definitely help all of us in getting closer to our goals in our careers and our lives.

Take Responsibility
Think Big
Plan
Execute

Taking Responsibility There are obvious reasons for me to put this as the very first thing to do. If we want to achieve anything not only in our careers but also anything in life, without taking full responsibility of our current situation we would not be able to be truthful to ourselves and without being truthful to ourselves, we would not be able to really see our opportunity areas or in simple terms, the areas where we can get better.

Firstly, we should take a good hard look at ourselves and see who we truly are. See our strengths but at the same time, see our weaknesses. We might be great at coding but probably might not be good with people. Likewise, we might be great with people but probably are not a natural programmer. There are chances that we might be great at both but probably are not good with understanding the business or with time management or probably might not be a good at delegating tasks. The point is, to be crystal clear with ourselves on our strengths and weaknesses. Because without knowing who we truly are, we would not be able to choose the right career path or a business partner or even our life partner.

Don’t be confused between what people say you are and who you know you are. _Oprah

Think Big I know most of us would have heard or read this somewhere in some form or the other. However, translating it to our individual lives can get a little challenging and a little overwhelming. But, how about “thinking big” keeping small actions in mind? How about thinking of the house we want to build but focussing on the wall that has to be built first?

Let me break it down for all of us, when we start our career or even in the midway, our objective is mostly to get a high paying job, to get a job where we will be respected, where we matter. However, how about adding another criteria to it? How about understanding where this job or the role will take me in long term? How about understanding, what the organisation is trying to achieve and how that would be a value addition for my long term vision for myself?

Another thing we often miss in planning our career is, we mostly know what we need to be in next five years and not what we need to be, by the end of our careers. Life is long and we will have long careers, then why just think of next five years? How about knowing what that role will be, by the end of our careers and then planning our next five years which will help us get there.

If the role (wall) does not help you build your ultimate vision (house) what purpose would it serve?

“Start small, think big. Don’t worry about too many things at once. Take a handful of simple things to begin with, and then progress to more complex ones. Think about not just tomorrow, but the future. Put a ding in the universe.” _{Steve Jobs}

Plan Once we have taken the full responsibility of who we truly are and have thought about that ultimate role in our careers, this part is one of the easiest things to do.

The reason why I say it is the easiest part is, you just have to look for the person who is in that role currently and learn how he got there. You would also want to learn how someone else in the similar role got there sooner. You would also learn the mistakes they made, the sacrifices they had to make, the learnings they took from their experiences and pretty much everything they had to do to get there (you get the idea) and coming up with your own version of it. You take all those learnings and avoid the same mistakes, you make it better, you customise it for yourself and you plan better for yourself.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” _{Benjamin Franklin}

Execute Most of the execution will depend on the kind of work we have put in the planning, the plan we have come up with for ourselves. It is following through with that plan every single day, it is that consistency which might soon disappear specially if we encounter a challenge or difficult task.

Execution in simple terms is, you do what you planned on doing until you get to your objective. If a mentor has recommended you to do a training course on LinkedIn learning or elsewhere, you make sure you do. If you have noticed that the person in that role is good with people, you make sure you do not miss an opportunity to learn and understand human behaviour. If you’ve observed that to become a CTO (chief technology officer) one must be good at understanding the technical language, you learn it and keep up-skilling your technical skills on organisational infrastructure.

If we have noticed, I spent a lot more time on “Taking Responsibility” and “Thinking Big” sections compared to “Planning” and “Execution” sections and it is by no means just a coincidence. This happens in our careers and lives too. We spend quite a lot of time to achieve our objectives and sometimes get frustrated too, because of it. That is primarily because either we fail to take the full responsibility or we don’t have anything big to achieve and we loose interest.

“When you establish a destination by defining what you want, then take physical action by making choices that move you towards that destination, the possibility for success is limitless and arrival at the destination is inevitable.” _{Steve Maraboli – Life, the Truth, and Being Free}

One thing that I did not mention explicitly is Patience. Because it is given, that in most of the cases in our lives, things would not work out the way we would like it to. May be the situation was not right, may be the timing, may be and many more may be’s… But trusting ourselves to follow the process and believing in ourselves will get us where we want to, eventually.

To summarise, we will be able to achieve anything or get to any role regardless of who we want to be by the end our lives or our careers only if, we take full responsibility, dream big, plan well and execute it really well with a lot of patience.