Compassion is “The feeling or emotion, when a person is moved by the suffering or distress of another, and by the desire to relieve it” While being compassionate in every role (Personal and Professional) is important, we’ll talk about why it is vital to be compassionate in leadership.
Leaders today spend a lot of time to learn and enhance their leadership abilities. There are numerous workshops which help in improving some of the traits to have in leadership and a lot of time is spent in understanding what makes a good leader. If there is one trait in leadership which I think is, of utmost importance is being compassionate.
Being compassionate simply means you are so dedicated to your team members or your tribe, that you can not see them in stress, in pain, in confusion, in despair and that means, you not only listen to them, you not only understand what they are going through but you also, try to help them to overcome that moment of pain, overcome that despair, overcome that confusion with all your experience and all your heart.
“People think compassion is a soft skill. The strongest people I know are the most compassionate. True compassion requires superhuman strength.” Jeff Weiner
There could be challenges for you as a leader to know what that thin line is, where you don’t get too involved in someone’s personal affairs and this is understandable. But what if, there are few questions which you ask yourself whenever you get stuck in something and use the same questions to seek clarity on what your team member is going through. Questions like, what happened, how serious is this problem, how did we get to this stage and what can we possibly do overcome this adversity and now, we translate to your team members situation to get the same clarity from him or her. There is one basic and the most important question you have to ask your team member before you ask the other questions though, which is, “How can I help? ” There could be different versions of this question such as, is there anything I can help you with, What can I do to help you with this, let me know if there is anything I can do to help you in this situation. The intention of this question should be to get their approval to get involved and be of any help to them.
For instance, you see a team member not being able to come to work for 2 or 3 days in a row and you have not heard from him apart from his leave request without the context. On one hand you gave him his right to be off work when he needed to, without asking him any question, but you feel something’s wrong and it is out of his nature to be away for long periods without giving the context. A good way to make sure that he and everything concerning him is OK, you can leave him a text to call you whenever he can. Once he calls you, you ask him how he is doing and build the conversation. If at any moment, you feel something is not OK and he has told what exactly is happening, you ask him “Can I be of any help to you in this situation?” and if he wants your help, he might not say a yes, but he will probably start giving you the details of the situation and then you can try to help him out. And if the answer for the same question is something like, I’ve got this, or I have it in control. You should respect that and let him handle the situation. However, you will still let him know that he can always reach out to you if he ever needs you and assure him that you will take care of his work responsibilities until he is back and he does not have to worry about it. By doing this, you still were able to be of some help to him.
Leaders should not think of being compassionate only for challenging or adverse situation the team member is in, but for good times too. For you to be able to truly celebrate your team members achievements, you have to feel what the team member feels and also help him in celebrating the good time. Yes, we do have recognition and awards in place in every organisation to make people feel special for their accomplishments, but being truly compassionate would mean, you take active participation in someone’s accomplishments with all your heart, just like how you feel when you accomplish something.
“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe
Being compassionate has some disadvantages too, because you truly are involved at emotional level. However, this is the price you have agreed to pay by being a leader. When you stack the disadvantages against being compassionate, you will see that the advantages are way more than the disadvantages. You will see the real value in being a leader, you will see what difference it makes not only for an individual team member but to the entire team and the organisation. Because the positive changes you’ll see around you, will be contagious and will spread to make a positive work place for everyone in the organisation. A team, an organisation where everyone trusts each other, where everyone has each others back and where everyone celebrates each others accomplishments like their own.
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